oh god the rape fog is back!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
