My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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