dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
