So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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