You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
