My balls are so social today.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
