Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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