She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize