i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Randomize
