she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
