Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
