Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize