Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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