yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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