just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i will never coherently bang her
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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