No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
