I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
