Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
