Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize