Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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