People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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