Those balls look pretty dangerous.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
