Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You are the jesus of drinking
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize