I heard we made out
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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