Its about making memories worth repressing
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
