I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
