how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
