R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
