He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
