I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You made out with two different species that night
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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