Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
