The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
