look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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