She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
