Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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