you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
