i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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