I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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