Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
