I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
