i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
