Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.

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(208): View more from Idaho

its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they

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(337): View more from Louisiana

And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."

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(248): View more from Michigan

im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.

(410): View more from Maryland

Sounds like a normal friday night

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(360): View more from Washington

My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died

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(775): View more from Nevada

He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.

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(802): View more from Vermont

First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.

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