when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
