i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize