so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
