she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
