We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
