So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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