this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
