i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
There r osticjed everywhere
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
