Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
