just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
