You're my little dorito
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
that's an acceptable place to lick
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize