tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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