My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
