Im at strip club and am horny
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
