I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
