if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
