id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
