I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
people are starting to question the shark bite story
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
That's how pantless uber rides happen
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
