Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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