I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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