and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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