"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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