wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
