She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
