threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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