Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
