1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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