youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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