it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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