There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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